Getting out of the Holiday blues

For years I hated the holidays. I’ve always seen the holidays time as full of hurt, and a lot of headache. I have a huge family and I love my family very much. But over the years I’ve tended to separate myself from some of my family because of their negativity and attitudes.

This year I decided to go at the holidays alone and to my surprise I didn’t contract holiday Blues this year. I’ve been spending way more time with my kids. Who’s hilarious, by the way. My kids help to keep me grounded. Sometimes I think if I didn’t have my kids I wouldn’t be as much fun.

So this Thanksgiving, my family and I had Thanksgiving here at home. I cooked all the traditional Thanksgiving food that I love to cook for my family each year. We ate, we talked, we drank, and repeated until we all passed out for the night. I must say it was the most fun that I’ve had with my little family here, my husband, my two kids and his brother who currently lives with us.

There was no drama, no fussing, no stress. And this is how I would like every holiday to go but unfortunately I know it won’t be so, or can it be?

I’ve been working on the rest of the Holiday season and how I would like for it to go. Remember, plans will always change. Leave room for the unexpected. I have delegated certain tasks so that I’m not overwhelmed. Done is always better than perfect.

I’ve opted out of heavy decor this year. I have two little monsters that I will keep busy by letting them make the decorations (that I have strategically located online) and put up the tree. Michael’s craft store has been a real time saver for all of the decor and crafts for kids.

Finally, my menu is simple. Minimum leftovers predicted. I’ll have plenty of time to mingle and celebrate. I’ve also gotten plenty of disposable dishes and pans. Minimum cleaning predicted also. This planning didn’t take long and wasn’t complicated. Mostly clever and common sense. I don’t know why I didn’t think of all this before.

I realized that most of my stress and anxiety associated with the holidays is caused by my constant pursuit of perfection. I’ve been chasing a ghost. Perfection does not exist. I don’t have to impress my family. They could care less about the decorations or our outfits for that matter. They’re just happy to celebrate with us and that is just what the holidays are about. Family.

I wish each and every one of you a happy, safe and blessed holiday season. I hope to see you all in 2019.

Happy holidays!

The Power of the Black Woman

Black power is something that has been feared for thousands of years. Our families were separated and our men scorned in front of us to break our power as a family unit. It has been known for many generations that we are stronger and safer in numbers. Ever since slavery, we’ve been given the paradigm that we are weak, not intelligent, and not worth our own investment in ourselves. 

It has been a challenge to break past all of the slavery teachings. Still today, we have a lot of black people living with that same ignorant slave mentality and don’t want to change or learn. These are the people who suffer the most, the ones who won’t change and the ones who won’t learn. Life is really passing them at a faster rate than those of us who know the truth. 

You have to be able to learn, un-learn, and re-learn in order to survive in the world today. Life is more than Instagram, snap-chat, Facebook and reality TV.

We as black women are seen as the most preyed upon, easily influenced, mentally weakest part of the human race. I think it’s time that we take back our power. Its time we show the world that we are more than the foolish behavior of a love and hip hop reunion show. It’s time we show the world that we are more than our hips and our hair.

We have a duty to the generations of young black women behind us to make an impact, to make a stand, to make a difference. It all starts with a choice. A choice to be dignified, graceful, kind, smart, well spoken, well read. It is our choice to be on exhibition or to exude excellence. Which one will you choose?