Getting it all done
I’m a wife and a mother of 2 beautiful monsters a little boy named CJ (8yrs. Old) and a little girl name Gwendolyn (2yrs. Old). Working full time and having such a huge presence across social media is a real stretch of my time to say the least. But I find time to do what I love. I love being a mother, and I love being a blogger. The best way that I could bring these 2 worlds together is to blog about with my babies.
I have a strict schedule because I work full time outside of the home, I have a blog, a podcast, a YouTube channel and a life coaching practice. All of which, produce some type of income every month. It’s a daunting task to manage it all, but I get it done and I don’t quit.
- I keep a time blocking schedule.
You can find lots of information about this topic online butbasically I block out time during the day for tasks or appointments that I needto keep. I keep a social media calendar just like I will keep my work calendarbecause social media is my work and my children are my work so both of thesethings are scheduled on of my own my planner. I also scheduled me time sleepand personal care.
2. I have daily routines
Routines will be your absolute lifesaver when it comes tomanaging your business, your social media and your family. Once you develop a daily routine, All of thethings that you have to do on a daily basis becomes very fluid.
3. I delegate
I have really become a master at this one. If it’s somethingthat needs to get done and I know that someone else can do it just as good as Iwould I delegate that task. Done is always better than perfect.
4. I take time for myself
Some down time is very necessary for you to wind down andrecharge. If you don’t give yourself breaks you won’t be very productive atall. So, stop, catch your breath, drink some water, and then get back in there
5. Don’t cram it all into one day
Rome wasn’t built in a day and you are no Hogwarts’s Alumni.There is no magic spell that can make it all get magically done or magically goaway. Take your time and spread things out. It’s better to focus on one at atime.
6. Take one day off or maybe two
Like I said before, you need to get some type of rest inorder to be creative and productive.
7. Start early
Your brain is more productive and creative first thing in the morning. After your morning routine, self-care, and a hot cup of coffee or tea, get cracking. Tackle the big stuff first and you will breeze through the rest of the day.
I hope that these tips will help you to win your days and inevitably win your life.
Black power is something that has been feared for thousands of years. Our families were separated and our men scorned in front of us to break our power as a family unit. It has been known for many generations that we are stronger and safer in numbers. Ever since slavery, we’ve been given the paradigm that we are weak, not intelligent, and not worth our own investment in ourselves.
It has been a challenge to break past all of the slavery teachings. Still today, we have a lot of black people living with that same ignorant slave mentality and don’t want to change or learn. These are the people who suffer the most, the ones who won’t change and the ones who won’t learn. Life is really passing them at a faster rate than those of us who know the truth.
You have to be able to learn, un-learn, and re-learn in order to survive in the world today. Life is more than Instagram, snap-chat, Facebook and reality TV.
We as black women are seen as the most preyed upon, easily influenced, mentally weakest part of the human race. I think it’s time that we take back our power. Its time we show the world that we are more than the foolish behavior of a love and hip hop reunion show. It’s time we show the world that we are more than our hips and our hair.
We have a duty to the generations of young black women behind us to make an impact, to make a stand, to make a difference. It all starts with a choice. A choice to be dignified, graceful, kind, smart, well spoken, well read. It is our choice to be on exhibition or to exude excellence. Which one will you choose?
I had a conversation with a close friend of mine and he told me a story about his ex-girlfriend. He was in love with her and she hurt him, badly. This story is common among people who have been in a relationship. The difference was that my friend was honest enough to tell me his true feelings. Feelings that he had expressed to no one before. I was touched and honored. For someone to share their innermost feelings means that they are very comfortable with trusting you and telling you this information.
The way he explained his feelings opened my eyes as to how my own husband feels about certain things in our relationship. My husband is the strong silent type. He doesn’t verbalize as much as I do. Now I feel like I have a better perspective on things from a man’s point of view. I will take the time to have a deep conversation with my husband to find out if this applies but for the most part, I’m sure he’ll be happy to know that I consider his feelings.
You never know how your actions affect someone else until you hear it from someone on the outside looking in. There is a lot we can learn from each other just by listening. Not just with our eyes but with our heart.
This conversation definitely opened my eyes.
I am at the center of everything in my home and everyone is a priority, except me. As much as I love my kids and my husband, I found that I really lost myself taking care of everyone else. The doctors call this post-partum depression. I think that is the wrong term because what i’m talking about happens to every woman at some point and usually it’s due to being overwhelmed with tasks and responsibilities without any depression at all.
Putting everyone and everything before ourselves is our way of coping with the stress and strain of Motherhood. It’s a natural sacrifice that we make that we really shouldn’t. The less we take care of ourselves, the less effective we are at taking care of our children and household. I am guilty of this on so many levels. I have even caught my self neglecting myself for weeks at a time. I am guilty of this. I have dealt with depression and it has drastically gotten better over time. The times that I neglect myself the most are not caused by depression but by a super busy schedule, a sick child and mountains of laundry worse than the Himalayas. I was not sad or emotional when I was neglecting myself. I was trying to get the chaos in order.
Once I caught myself doing this, I got on a mission to improve my world so that this would not happen again. I started getting together a system that helped me to deal with my family, my responsibilities and tasks, as well as myself.
1.) Get a planner
I know that you have heard this a million times but this is so true. You will have so much on your mind things will get lost in the shuffle. Write them down. Either in an app on your phone, or a paper and pen. I keep a notebook and a planner. I have to write. It gives me the greatest calm and peace to write down not only my tasks for the day but also how I’m feeling. Seeing it on paper can help me to sort out what is just my mind running wild and what is actually happening. Believe me, I have been through the altered reality too many times. Writing things down will clear your mind and get you grounded fast. I have a Happy Planner by Create 365. I decorate and plan in my planner weekly which is a creative outlet for me as well as functional.
|Classic Happy Planner: Everyday Essentials|
2.) Get a plan together
Once you have your planner in hand, use it. Concentrate on writing down your tasks and to do’s. Prioritize from the most important to the things that can be done later. You will realize, once you make your list, that things are not as overwhelming as they seem. You will gain so much clarity. I usually do a top 5. After that I do an optional 3. Any more than that and I won’t have room for things that come up all of a sudden. Flexibility is key. Leave room in your schedule for unforeseen events. Give yourself extra time to complete tasks.
Put your big girl panties on and get to it. You have to focus on what you have in front of you. The old saying “out of sight, out of mind” is true. You have to tackle what you see first. Then move on to the next. Hit your top priority items on your task list. Challenge yourself to get done at least the first 5 without stopping or getting distracted. You will be pleasantly surprised at what you can get done.
4.) Stop multitasking
You shouldn’t multi-task just like you should’t text and drive. It will end badly. If you are cleaning, then clean. If you’re doing laundry then do laundry. You will get tasked completed so much faster if you focus on one thing at a time. You will also have more attention to detail. This means you won’t forget or leave much out.
5.) Schedule everything
Now, let’s get carried away with this one. Some people take this statement literally. When I say schedule everything, I mean make sure to use your time wisely. If you have a block of time in between tasks, this is the perfect time to schedule some down time for yourself. I even schedule showers and baths. You wouldn’t believe how many times I have asked myself if I had taken a shower that day. It may sound ridiculous to some but, it’s absolutely true. Schedule your personal care time too. I even write down my morning and night routines for my skincare. This comes in handy when you get mommy brain and can’t remember anything.
Now, by this time you should at least have a pretty good handle on things. Planning and scheduling should have at least cleared the smoke and let you see things much clearer now. Now that you have a little clarity as far as tasks go the next three will make your life even easier.
6.) Prep ahead of time
My kids clothes and my clothes are laid out ahead of time. Their clothes are organized so that I can grab what I need when I need it. My clothes are organized in the same way. I train my kids to use the same system that I have put in place and explain to them why. They get it. They are also young so their brains are just soaking it all up. This habit took me a while to cultivate and master but my “future self” thanks me all the time. Trust me it’s worth the extra effort.
7.) Get everyone involved
Don’t leave your kids out of the clean up. Get them to help clean up their messes and do laundry whenever possible. Remember, you are raising adults and you want them to be confident and independent. Giving them responsibility and chores little by little instills character. This also gives you a chance to see what they can do and what they can’t. It’s a great learning experience for you and them. You can even make it fun by turning it into a game. Engaging their critical thinking and motor skills which is great for their development. It also lightens the load on you.
8.) Develop a routine
Having a routine is critical. This can make the day go a little smoother but most of all, orderly. An established routine creates order and expectancy. Kids like this because it gives them a sense of security. They know what happens next and what is expected. There is no room left for question. This will also make life easier for you because after the routine is learned, the only thing you have to do is oversee.
9.) Be Consistent
As a mother, tiredness and lack of sleep were my greatest complaint. Establishing the routines talked about earlier has given me a chance to train not only my kids but myself. I compare it to the metaphor that says “The fish rots from the head.” this is very true. You are the lead person in your household. The group of people you are responsible for respond to you and your leadership. They feed off of your energy. Make sure it is always positive. Being consistent is a positive reinforcement. Even though we don’t feel like it we should for the greater good of our home and family. A little struggle pays off in the end.
10.) Take time to relax and reset
Like I mentioned earlier. I even schedule this time in my planner. I will at least have a day or a few hours to myself to unwind, relax, and reset. You absolutely need to have this time. Whether it be a few minutes or a few hours. Take time to take care of yourself so that you can take care of the ones you love.
Of all the makeup products in the world my favorites are all full of color. Blushes and lip products are my vice. I can’t help myself when it comes to these two products. Today the topic is blush. I have always loved NARS blushes but they are quite an investment. Those blushes are highly pigmented and sometimes have to be applied with a light hand, which I tend not to have with most colored products. I have been on a quest for a more day to day blush that was blendable and had less of a hefty price tag. My research led me to Lorac. The company that has become well known for their iconic pro eyeshadow and bronzer had finally come out with a line of blushes that catered to the everyday woman. These blushes are so soft and smooth and they look incredible on the skin. The formula is matte and satin so you can find the right one for you. Thanks to Ulta beauty and Lorac cosmetics, I have finally gotten my hands on the two colors that I had been eying for a while and at 50% off.
This first color I am going to talk about is a beautiful vibrant peach. It compliments a lot of skin tones and is a gorgeous flush on any warm skin tone. Technicolor is that blush that fools the eye. It makes you think that it will be overpowering and it really isn’t that at all. It looks so beautiful on the skin, I fell in love with this one first. It makes you look so fresh and awake. The formula of these blushes are so amazing, They are soft and buildable and the color payoff is amazing. This will be the perfect blush for me come spring and summer. It will be just the right amount of healthy glow.
The next color is Chroma and it also fooled me. I thought that it was going to really be a straight up purple blush. Instead, it was a gorgeous wash of plum. The perfect blush for me this coming fall season. I love my plums and berries in the fall and this blush ties right into what I look for during the fall and winter months. I’ve just found my new favorite fall/winter blush. It applies so effortlessly. It blends like butter and wears like a dream. I won’t be putting this one down any time soon.
The whole line of blushes are really beautiful. If you’re heavy handed like me you will love the formula and application. These blushes are designed for everyday use and wear. I would not compare them to a MAC or NARS blush. This is a totally different formula. These blushes don’t have as much pigment. They apply to the skin very lightly. Even when you pick up a lot of product. Lorac really accomplished their goal with this product and the name is spot on. I hope you fall in love with these blushes as much as I have. They are really pretty.
Okay, so let’s start with foundation. Foundation is a very personal and sometimes emotional thing when it comes to makeup. Some will not part from a foundation that they have been using for years. I, on the other hand, will try new things and sometimes change according to what my skin is going through at that time.
Even though I have combination/dry skin I do like a matte to semi-matte finish. I rarely go for a luminous foundation unless it is winter and my skin needs it. I like to look made up. Even though all the trends are a no makeup look. I am a true diva and I go for the gold, beat for the Gods face when I am wearing makeup. I cannot seem to pull off that no makeup look. It always goes too far for me and then I go full glam. I am not ashamed to say that.
In my quest for the perfect foundation, which is on going, I have come across a few that have impressed me. Some high end and drugstore. The thing with me is not price. I will pay for quality over quantity any day as long as my hard earned money is spent well. I have no preference of high or low end products. I use what works for me and what I love.
Most of the brands and products I will speak about have been tried and tested over and over again in various ways. I give each product a rigorous testing to make sure that it does what it claims and that it doesn’t fail. My aim is to get it to fail. If in fact a product does fail or misses the mark, I will immediately let you know what my thoughts are on that product and the manner in which it failed.
So let’s get started.
This company has come out with two favorites of mine and they both are the Fit-Me foundations, Original and the Matte and pore-less, The original foundation was in fact the only luminous foundation that I would reach for even though it was released in late summer, which is common for most foundations. The Original Fit-Me required a lot. Priming and powdering and not touching it was important for its longevity. It was beautiful on the skin but without primer and setting powder it didn’t last long. It seemed to never dry or set which also made quite a mess as it transferred on my hands and clothes all day. I am a hugger so it also would embarrassingly transfer onto anyone I gave a great big hug to. This to me was ridiculous, but in essence, considering the price, I got what I paid for.On a higher note, this was a beautiful foundation and it made me glow and with a little experimentation I got it to do what I wanted it to do and not transfer. That is what made this one for me.
The Matte and Pore-less is a shocker. I was hoping for this foundation to come out in a matte formula and then, it did! I was amazed at the shade range but was still weary because I know how bad matte formulas tend to oxidize. I didn’t want to be a giant Um-pa-loo-pa face. I tried it in cocoa and coconut. Both were too dark so I got the next up which in the bottle looked way too light but ended up being my perfect shade. I haven’t been able to put it down since. Great job Maybelline. The powder and the blushes are great in this line too.
I have been wearing this brand since I started wearing makeup in my teens. I know that this is a well established company and their brand is international but up until recently their foundations weren’t. Double Wear is their “Golden Child”. This line has expanded so much over the last four years. The thing that got it all started, Double Wear foundation, Wow. This is the most long-wearing, bullet-proof, no smudge or budge foundation in the world. No one has even come close and if they have, they are a part of the Estee’ Lauder family of companies underneath their umbrella. Every skin tone is covered from alabaster to rich mahogany. The only flaw is the weight of the foundation on the skin which, since the first claims were made, prompted Estee’ Lauder to reformulate. My favorite from this line is Double Wear Light, That is my everyday foundation. Hands Down.
A newcomer to the Estee’ Lauder family is Perfectionist CPR foundation which is another luminous foundation that I love, It has the CPR serum inside so its like skincare in your foundation which is brilliant. I can cover and treat all at once. It is medium build-able coverage, which I like. It has a soft luminescence which I also like and my skin has visibly improved since I started using it. As with any other luminous foundation, it transfers and doesn’t exactly dry or set. It also takes a little work to make this foundation stay put and do what you want it to do. Unlike Double Wear, which sets fast and doesn’t move, this one will move around if you don’t set it properly.
This company has been the leader in long-wear for a while now. The Color stay line is it’s “Golden Child”. The best thing about this line that drew me in was that it came in normal/dry and combination/oily formula which covered everyone across the board. The shade range is awesome and I have no complaints about the coverage, The only thing about this foundation is that your oil would come through at about the 5 hour mark or so. I don’t even have an oily T zone until I met this foundation.
One prize I keep going back to in this line is the HD foundation which I think is awesome. I’ve gone through four already. I can’t say enough. The shade range is a little limited and for some skin tones you have to mix two shades. Other than that, it’s a great alternative to more higher priced HD foundations.
There is only one favorite for foundation and it is True Match. This foundation never fails and looks so natural. This is as close to a no makeup look as I can get. The matching powders and blush from this line are amazing also. They blend so well and they are soft and creamy to the touch, which I know is a hard to find thing with drugstore makeup.This company deserves their props for this one. Everyone I know uses or has used and loves this foundation. It’s light on the skin, very blend-able and build-able, great coverage, wide shade range, its just awesome. It’s only flaw is that it is not long wearing. You can get six good hours out of this foundation with touch ups. That’s it. Don’t go looking for more. You’ll only be disappointed.
True Match Lumi for me was an epic fail. It made me look greasy and it broke me out terribly. I just couldn’t take it.
Saving the best for last. MAC is iconic in the beauty industry. Their legacy is television and stage makeup. They have been a makeup artist company and brand for decades. They have graciously agreed, after Estee’ Lauder bought them, to let regular people have access to these professional grade products and excellent service.
Okay, enough brown nosing and BS. MAC is the worst shopping experience ever in life but, I will put up with their rude customer service and horrible manners for the products that I live by. I only have three staples from MAC but they are in my everyday routine,
Pro Long-wear foundation and concealer. Holy grail products. Cannot live without these two. They are my friends and lifesavers. Pro Long-wear foundation came along at the right time for me because Studio Fix Fluid was becoming too much for my skin. Pro Long-wear came in and swept me off my feet. I committed to him quicker than my wonderful husband but, I digress. I was so in love with this foundation that I use up every drop. Six bottles and counting. Four of the concealer.
With all the brands we have to choose from, it’s hard to pick just one favorite. I like having options and being able to cater my makeup to my mood or activity. I like what I like even though I sometimes like everything. I just wanted to share my thoughts and opinions of these products so that maybe I can help you pick a favorite or two. Always remember to do what makes you happy in your makeup and everyday life. Play, have fun and if it doesn’t work for you, its only makeup. Wash it off and try again.