Twisted Feminity

For the past six months I have been feeling a little out of sorts. I was exhausted and un motivated. I felt out of control and not myself. I was depressed and had just given up on myself so to speak. I wasn’t doing my hair, my nails were a mess, I didn’t care for myself well at all. I knew something needed to change.

I started searching on YouTube and came across some very interesting video content about leveling up and femininity. I was searching for tips on how to always look good and Pandora’s box was opened. There were literally thousands of hours of content on the subject. Each and every one with a different statistic involved.

Most of the popular content I have seen is about self care, which we all need right now or about leveling up, which is a whole different subject. Femininity is truly a social construct. It is a set of actions and character traits. Most feminity can be learned, some only comes with being female, which is also discretionary. I was looking for true, female feminity.

Fast forward to today and I have finally achieved balance in my mind and my life. I am functioning on a better level today. The content I found, along with some good old fashioned research has helped me in ways that I could have never imagined. I was in love with myself again with a whole new perspective about self care and femininity as a whole.

What Changed?

My Idea of self care was generated around consumerism and the notion that I could buy products and that would make me feel better and that just wasn’t the truth. I needed to sort out what I considered to be self care. I had to reprogram my mindset.

Self care wasn’t a bath or a candle, it was a system that I would set up that would help me to be more productive, organized and stress less. I was basically going to have to mother myself. Just like I mother my children, I would have to show myself that same love and give myself that same attention.

I felt unworthy at the time, I really had to shift my thinking. It was time for a mental makeover. I developed a system to get me to work on time. I know that this may seem mundane but follow me here.

I was at least ten minutes late to work on a daily basis. My manager was sick of it and I was reprimanded. This defeated me because using the system I had, which was none, I was thinking that I was doing my best. I needed to save my job. I observed myself for a week and found out that I wasn’t starting my day on my terms.

I usually was awakened by a school bus horn or my phone ringing which meant I had to give something or someone else my attention as soon as I got up in the morning. I wasn’t able to give myself that attention because I didn’t create time for me.

So, after careful planning and research, and a lot of self-help books, I created a schedule that allowed me to start my day on my terms. I started by going to bed earlier so that I could wake up earlier and a month later I am slaying my mornings.

I never thought I could do this. I was so used to my mornings being a chaotic rush. Now I am up at 5am. I’m the first person up out of bed in my house each morning. This schedule gives me time to take good care of myself before meeting the needs of my family or the demands of my job.

Femininity is not one size

While most of the tips and advice I got was a big help, most of it was not a good fit for my life and my schedule. I had to make some adjustments to fit my needs. This was easy for me because I knew exactly what I was looking for. Most people dive into these searches not knowing what they really want out of it.

Take yourself and you lifestyle into consideration. Make sure to pick out the advice you use like picking out flowers. Only the most beautiful and the ones that really speak to you. Everything isn’t for everyone. What may work for me, may not fit into your life.

Be careful not to get too caught up in the “high value woman bit”. Your value is determined by you and not what you wear or how you act. Respect and love yourself and you will show others how to treat you. Don’t let these strangers behind a computer screen determine your worth. You are awesome and one of a kind. Love yourself. I know I do.

My First Charlotte Tilbury in-depth product review

Pillow talk Dreamy eye kit

The Pillow talk instant eye palette and Full fat lashes mascara. This Palette and mascara really surprised me. I wasn’t ready for the gorgeous pigment and the soft blend of these shadows. I am reaching for this eyeshadow palette every day. It really is gorgeous and soft on the eyes. The shimmers are beautiful and they blend like a dream.

The mascara was also a surprise. It has the perfect name because just like the name says it gives you full fat lashes. It builds and builds. You can go overboard really quick. The formula and volume are incredible. I am forever hooked.

Airbrush Flawless Bronzer- Deep

This product started it all for me. The Airbrush Flawless Bronzer in deep. I purchased it after hearing and seeing hundreds of rave reviews. I couldn’t believe how many people loved this product. No matter the age or skin tone, everyone loved this bronzer. I got it in the mail and I haven’t put it down since. This was the product that introduced me to Charlotte Tillbury.

This, light as air, powder bronzer is so highly pigmented and easily blend able, which these two descriptions are rarely used together to describer a product, let alone a bronzer. I thought that it would be too warm. It is warm but in a flattering way on my skin tone. It gives me the perfect sun-kissed, and when I’m heavy handed, bronzy glow. It is like sun in a compact.

Hollywood Superstar Glow Highlighter

Another show stopper is the Hollywood Superstar Glow Highlighter.

Now this one had me on the fence for a while considering how many highlighters are on the market right now. From drugstore to high end, at least every brand has ten or more highlighters in their line.

The price didn’t deter me much considering the fact that I am in the middle of a makeup declutter and am now realizing how much money I am literally throwing away. I was ready to invest in one great highlighter instead of a hundred just okay ones.

This product certainly did not disappoint. It is as beautiful in person as it is in pictures. It is the most universally flattering champagne gold. Every skin tone across the board can wear this highlight. It’s not packed with glitter. It builds nicely. It doesn’t emphasize texture and it is beautiful to look at on your vanity. It is as huge as the bronzer and a great investment if you want something that will always work and last a long time.

I love kits. they make applying your makeup easy and simple. It’s really hard to find a face palette that can suit a variety of skin tones and still have ease of application. I believe that Charlotte Tilbury has made it her life’s work to make sure we are polished and put together on a daily basis no matter what. Her products and formulas are just unsurpassed. Each and every palette is crafted with the everyday woman in mind. We all have different styles, different lives, careers, etc.. Charlotte Tilbury made sure there was a kit for every woman in every walk of life and style.

Gorgeous glowing beauty makeup kit

Here comes the Gorgeous glowing beauty. This kit has literally saved my life. I use it every day and it is a staple in my makeup bag. When you need to get ready quickly, a face kit is truly a gem. The best thing is that I can use the whole palette. Every single product in this palette suits my complexion. I can’t go wrong with this kit. The only thing there is to add is my favorite concealer and powder and I’m off. This palette gives the perfect, glowing, neutral, daytime appropriate look. Whew! That was a mouthful.

I love the warm, mauve tones of this palette. The bronzer and blush go great together. The highlight glows without glitter or sparkles. This is truly for the grown and sexy or corporate America girl. You just can’t go wrong. This is an all powder palette, so you can use the powder any way you like. I have used the bronzer as blush and the blush as eyeshadow. The options are endless.

Here is a must have pair. Liquid foundation and pressed powder. You may say that there is nothing special about this. I’m here to tell you that I said the exact same thing. I asked myself, “How is this so much better than stuff I already have?” “Do I really need this?” I wonder how the coverage is?” I did my research on this product. I found all the reviews that I could and all of the ones that I trusted were giving these two products rave reviews and 5 stars. Of course, I was late to the party but, I still managed to get in. I have been loving this combination for the longest time now. I’m almost done with the foundation which, I might get a backup of.

The powder is really the star of this classy act. It blurs and perfects to give you a true airbrushed appearance. I have been in love with this powder from the first swipe. I love the finish and it gives just enough coverage.

The products are just the tip of the iceberg in the Charlotte Tilbury collection. She has made incredible products that have changed everyone’s makeup game for the better. I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Best High End Makeup of 2020

Hello loves,
These are the products that make my morning and ultimately my day a whole lot easier. I love each and every one of these product and I will have each one linked below. Have a happy and safe holiday season.

Products Mentioned:

Charlotte Tillbury :
Magic Cream- https://www.charlottetilbury.com/us/p…

Magic Cream light- https://www.charlottetilbury.com/us/p…

Wonder glow primer- https://www.charlottetilbury.com/us/p…

Instant look in a palette -stoned rose- https://www.charlottetilbury.com/us/p…

Instant look in a palette- gorgeous glowing beauty- https://www.charlottetilbury.com/us/p…

Airbrush flawless setting spray- https://www.charlottetilbury.com/us/p…

Full Fat lashes Mascara- https://www.charlottetilbury.com/us/p…

Other products mentioned:

Pat McGrath Labs sublime perfection concealer- https://www.sephora.com/product/pat-m…

Fenty Beauty bronzer- cocoa naughty- https://www.sephora.com/product/sun-s…

NARS- Soft matte complete foundation- caracas/ medium-deep 3.3- https://www.sephora.com/brand/nars?ic…

MAC mineralized skinfinish natural -Dark- https://www.maccosmetics.com/product/…

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Twitter: Deon5011

Instagram: ms_dee_walker_01

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/The1makeupq…

Go check out my blog:

https://www.msdeewisdom.com

For business inquiries and speaking engagements:

msdeescorner@gmail.com

Disclaimer: this video is not sponsored and all products were purchased with my own money.

Teamwork, A beautiful dance.

If you have ever watched a Tango or Ballroom dance, it is a beautiful thing to watch. Each person in sync with their partner and the steps they take. This is teamwork and leadership on the grandest scale. Being able to lead also means being able to follow.


Every great leader knows that sometimes you have to be able to follow. No one who has ever become a leader was never a follower. And even in life, all leaders, CEO’s, heads of state, they all must follow at some point. This is the difference between a good leader and a great leader.

Knowing your team is another mark of a great leader. You have to be confident in your team. Just as the dance partners are confident in each other. Knowing that if one falls the other will help them and pick them up if need be. This confidence comes in knowing your team. Knowing their strengths and weaknesses. Observation and testing is the best way to know your team. Mother birds have to let the baby bird fall in order to know if they can fly.

The same logic applies to relationships. Knowing your partner (team mate) can help your relationship tremendously. Knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, not for exploitation, but for the flow of energy between two people lovingly in sync with one another. When we master our emotions and really analyze what’s in front of us we can make better decisions for ourselves and our future selves.

Teamwork is not only a beautiful dance at work but also a beautiful dance in life. It takes us all to do our part and support each other. Not in scornful judgement but in loving direction and teaching.

I hope that this post helps someone who is struggling with teamwork or leadership. I want you to know that in order to be a great leader, parent, partner, friend, spouse or human you must learn to be patient with those you love and lead and have compassion for them. Everyone is different. and it is those differences that make us strong and unique, especially when we unite to form a great team, marriage, or family.

Goal setting for the new year

I know it’s a tough subject to think about right now but it’s time to set some goals for 2020. We all start out the new year with resolutions, which we break within 10 minutes of the new year. This year I’m starting with goals. I want to accomplish more in the new year besides a whole night sleep.

After carefully reviewing every aspect of my life, I have come up with carefully thought out goals and action steps to help me to reach each one. This sounds simple, but it took me a few days to sort out what I really wanted out of life and how could I get there.

I had to sort out the attainable from the totally rediculous. I have a lot of wants, all of my wants cannot be turned into attainable goals. Most of my wants were really broken down to achievable by a change in routine or habit. My real goals, had a series of steps and levels to the finished product.

I have four planners that help me to achive daily, weekly, and monthly goals. All of them are different sizes and only one system is a different type. I picked each of these planners according to what information I will be keeping track of in each. I’ll go into more detail of each in a later post.

When you get your clear vision about what you want out of life and make a plan of how you will get there, trust your judgement on what if any planner or planning system will work for you.

Here are a few pointers to help you along the way.

1. Separate your wants from your needs. Most goal setting is stumped by wants vs needs. Needs are necessary for everyday life, wants make getting your needs easier, comfortable or more efficient.

2. Be realistic about your goals. Nothing hurts worse than trying to reach an unrealistic goal. It’s like trying to go to the moon without a space ship.

3. Don’t stop with a general goal. Keep going by writing your action steps out. Then you can see your plan in action.

4. Take your time. This is your goals and your plan. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else or conform your goals based on where you should be. Plan for where you are and where You want to go and not where others want you to be.

5. You don’t have to be a superhero. Your goal are about you and only you. Don’t feel bad for that. You are not responsible for helping others achieve their goals. Don’t allow them to make you feel bad about your success.

I hope this post helps you to rock your goals this year. Go for it. Don’t let fear keep you from your dreams.

Putting Out The “Fires” That Burn our lives to the ground.

Everyday there are things in our life that run a muck. Sometimes we can catch it as it’s happening and intervene. Other times we don’t see it until it’s a four alarm fire. What we don’t realize is that most of the fires in our life, we start. We wonder why things happen to us knowing we haven’t done anything. That is the biggest problem, not doing anything. Here are four things that we do unconsciously that starts an avalanche of problems.

  1. Neglect. Neglect by definition is to give little attention or respect to. Like your child’s behavior which used to be cute but is now publicly embarrassing? Your marriage that used to be full of love and joy but now you can’t stand to be in the same room with one another? Your credit score that seems to reduce itself by 100 points a day? Your weight that you make excuses for? The body that you hide in baggy clothes? All of these things are the consequence of neglect.
  2. Indifference. Indifference by definition is the lack of interest concern or sympathy. Much like neglect it has the same type of consequential universal reaction. For example, your credit score is dwindling because you are indifferent about paying your bills or paying them on time. You have no sense of concern or urgency on your responsibilities. You see no need to work out so you don’t. As long as your kids aren’t bothering you, you implement no real discipline, and so on.
  3. Fear. Fear is a feeling induced by a perceived danger. The keyword here is perceived. Perception can be altered depending on your position. Like the rear view mirror on the side of your car that says “objects in mirror are closer than they appear”. Life has no such warning but that would be great if it did. Just like you have to look before you switch lanes to prevent collision, you have to look around in your life to prevent destruction.
  4. Complacency. This is the dreaded comfort zone that people warn you about. You get comfortable with below average or even substandard life that you have no clue what’s going on around you like going to the job that you hate because it pays some of the bills instead of updating your resume or going back to school because staying at the crappy job is easier. Or not disciplining your kids because you want to be their buddy instead of a parent. By the time you realize the whole forest of your life has burned to the ground.
  5. Keeping up with the Kardashians. The phrase “keeping up with the Jones’s” is a bit outdated for this day and age of social media, but the same applies here. Being so wrapped up in keeping up appearances in a one-sided media platform is a dangerous distraction. While you are falling victim to the drama and consumerism which is social media, your own world is falling to pieces. Social media only tells one side of the story. It’s there for advertisement and entertainment. It is a bad representation of real life.

Now that we have established how most of the “fires” in our lives get started, let me give you a few “emergency contacts” (tips) to help you put a few out.

  1. Call the “Fire Department”. In other words, get some help. Most times the people who truly care about you can see the fire from the outside better than you can from the inside and will be glad to help in any way they can. This also applies to counsel. Talking to someone could be the biggest and best help of all.
  2. Get Moving. You can’t do anything standing still. Real lasting change requires action. Have you ever seen a firefighter standing still or not doing anything at the scene of a fire? Not doing anything is what got the fire started and action is the only way to put it out.
  3. Call Serve Pro. Not really but you have to clean up the mess. Remove all the debris (negativity) from your life and evaluate what you really want. Remove some things, and even people, that no longer serve you any purpose. I know you love your tribe but what good are they if they can’t help you or at least warn you about what they see. “Hey friend, your house is burning”.
  4. Have a plan. Make sure you know where all the “exits” and “fire extinguishers” are. Have people designated to help you and keep them updated on how you’re doing. If you’ve ever experienced the devastation of a real house fire like me, you know how important it is to prevent rather than put out. Have a plan and people in place to help you. You won’t regret it.

Your life doesn’t have to “burn” but once and a while a few small fires flare up. With the right support and training (self discipline), the next fire won’t be so bad.

I’m back in theHappy Planner

So usually I don’t buy a planner after July but I was so tempted to get one. I was watching a lot of YouTube videos and the ladies on there had their planners so pretty and uniquely customized and mine had been sitting on the shelf for a while. I finally got up enough nerve to go to my local Walmart that now carries happy planner products. I purchase the happy planner vertical and a happy notes notebook. I also purchased some pens and highlighters but that goes with the territory.

As soon as I got home, as tired as I was from working all night, I immediately started setting up my planner. I have a few sections in my planner that aren’t exactly set in stone. I don’t know whether I want to keep my planner in this order or switch around for convenience. Right now the way my planter is set up I’m giving it a go for a couple of weeks to see how I like the way I set it up, to see if it will be good for me, and to find out whether or not I had the right idea by purchasing another planner.

I would love to add a home section to my planner. The happy planner does make a home extension pack that I am looking forward to purchasing. The new extension pack actually has chores laid out for each week, month, and day. I’ve enjoyed everything that the happy planner has made so far. Me and my big Ideas has done a great job with all of the creative aspects of the happy planner. I am very pleased with the quality of the paper, the size of the classic size planner, and the customization of it.

The happy planner is so versatile. You can add as much as your discs can hold or you can have the bare-bones planner and still have a lot of creative inspiration. My planner is currently Franken planned. I have the oh so lovely vertical layout and I have the happy mom planner combined into one. I also have a happy notes notebook that I have deconstructed and added into my planner for extra journaling and Faith planning. So far I like the way that I have the planner setup. It looks good it’s all very functional which is my style but I do like a little pop of creativity and decor. The happy planner is known for its very creative and colorful style and that’s what I initially bought a happy planner for back in 2014.

Since I’ve had the happy planner it has served its purpose in my life by not only giving me a creative outlet but also keeping me organized which in turn keeps me sane. I also love the way I can customize my planner to just totally fit me. Even though it’s a store-bought planner it’s a premade planner I can still customize it to fit me and everything that I need on a day-to-day basis and I love that.

Here are a few pictures of my planner and how I have it set up but I’m going to do a video of a walk through in my planner to explain more in depth about what I have turned my happy planner into.

Weathering tropical storm Barry.

We are experiencing we are experiencing our first tropical storm of this year. Tropical storm Barry. He has already flooded out most of South Louisiana. Now headed to the northeast.

I live an hour and a half from New Orleans. We are all prepared for the Storm. I have purchased all of our essentials. We are just waiting on the weather. Literally. We have experienced light rain and wind. Nothing really bad yet.

I’m just hoping that I can make it home from work safe. I am working until 11 p.m. tonight. Barry is scheduled to make landfall around 4 a.m.

I don’t usually post about things like this but I’m bothered for some reason. I just have a nervousness about tropical storms and hurricanes.

I lived through Andrew, Katrina, Rita, Gustav and a few others that I can’t remember the names of. I just don’t like bad weather in general. Even a thunderstorm makes me nervous.

I hope that my family, friends and neighbors are all safe and prepared. I’ve done the best I can. I’m hoping for the best. Hopefully tomorrow morning I will have a good update. Stay tuned for more about me and Barry.